Playing With The Date

I’m just writing this post so it could be marked as 15:14 13/12/11

That’s it


Playing With The Date

I’m just writing this post so it could be marked as 11:11 11/11/11

That’s it

I, Was, Here, First

Yesterday I went to Morrisons (it’s a supermarket if you don’t know) in Ebbw Vale. This is almost worthy of a post in itself as I never go there. Not that I don’t like Morrisons but it’s just that to get there from my house I have to go past three other supermarkets. So why bother when I can go to Tesco or whatever.

But I happened to be going to Ebbw Vale anyway so decided to go in there for a change.

The first daft thing I did was walk into the shop and then hang around the fish counter. Well the guy working behind the counter was hot so I just … wanted to have a little look. Browsed the chiller cabinet looking at the sliced salmon (ok pretending to look at the salmon. Mainly looking at the guy) . Almost bought some fresh octopus as an excuse to talk to him. As I said he was hot. Plus I’d like to try some octopus someday.

And then I made my way up to the meat counter. Now I stood there waiting for a minute or so while the woman finished doing something down the other end of the display, packing some meat up or something (as someone who works in a supermarket I know that it’s extremely annoying when customers can see your in the middle of something you can’t stop doing but still shout for your attention). As she turned around a woman came out of nowhere and went right up to the other end of the counter and asked for something. She pushed in before me. She must have known I had been waiting (I mean I had been standing there first) but just asked for her stuff.

And without thinking about it I said “Oi I was here first” out loud.

Luckily this is a very long counter and I am a quiet person so they didn’t hear me. But I was miffed. So the woman gets served and the meat woman comes down to me and says sorry were you here first.

“Yes” I said straight away. Perhaps a little sharper than I remember. I didn’t think about it, it just came right out of my mouth in an instant. She said sorry and I laughed afterwards and got my stuff but thinking about it later I might have been slightly sharp with that yes. And so to the meat woman I will say if I sounded rude that was not my intention and I apologise. And to the woman who thinks she can push in before me I have this to say to you…

Bitch I will cut you next time, you hear me!

November Is About … Lot’s Of Things

So I wanted another thing to continue my November Is… thing so I checked out the Wikipedia page for November.

Turns out there is quite a lot happening next month.

Alzheimer’s Awareness, Diabetes, Homeless Youth, Lung Cancer …

Yep November is a fun month.

November Is About … Cancer

So I’m doing the writing this year but should I also do Movember?

If you don’t know what that is check out the Movember website for details. I can’t tell you better than they can. And while you’re there you can sign up and join in. Or jus donate some money to a Mo Bro.

No one else I know seems to be doing it this year. Last year I joined a team and we all raised a few pounds. And judging from certain pictures we all looked quite foolish. Very few of us suited a lip tickler. But then again that’s the point. You are encouraged to grow the craziest moustache you can. There are all sorts of styles to choose from.

But this year no one said anything about it. And I kept putting off talking about it as I thinking we had loads of time to sort something out and join in. And now there are only two days to decide if we shave and grow or just donate money or what.

I’ll see if anyone else is interested but I can’t promise anything.

November Is About … Writing

November seems to be a busy month. And for me it starts with something new.

November is National Novel Writing Month. You spend the whole month writing a book. I love how they don’t restrict you. The options on what sort of story you want to call it is quite long. To be honest I just love the fact that they included erotica as an option. We all know I hate badly written porn and this might encourage more people to seek out and ask for better erotica rather than just putting up with third-rate stuff without complaint as they think it can’t get better than that. Not that I can write an erotic story, as I’ve blabbed to other people about it and now they’ll want to see what I’m doing. And I don’t think my parents what to read about what gets me off.

Guess my porn will have to stay as short storys.

Now this will be the first time I’ve done this. I’ve heard of it but never at the right moment. So I’m quite excited. I think it might be a slight challenge as you have to write about 50,000 words. That works out about 1667 words a day to hit the target. I admit I’m not the best at keeping at things but I think this might help me follow this to the end. With other people talking about it and doing it with me I might stick with it to the end.

I am sticking to the rules. I have an opening to a book already done (only half a chapter. It was part of my writing class assignment) but won’t use it as I think it might be cheating. I wish I could as I have all my notes about it done. And I know what happens, who did it and why (did I say it was a murder mystery). I might use another idea I had about a … well I guess I can’t tell you as it might spoil the plot.

I also found out that tomorrow there is a meeting in Cardiff for people doing the challenge. I might go take a look and see who I meet.

Waking Working Horror

I was so traumatized I can only talk about this now.

On Monday I went into work in a good mood. I mean it was tipping down with rain and I was going to work but I still felt (as) good (as I could about it). Mainly as it was the last shift I had before my time off. I have about a week and a half off work. I always have the end of October off. Mainly as I hate Halloween.

Ok that’s not totally true. I love dressing up. I love sweets. I love strange and odd and certain spooky things. What I hate is Halloween decorations. Cause they all seem to now include …. things. I have a massive spi… sp… I got arachnophobia. I hate …. spiders. I hate the word, I hate real ones, fake ones, plastic ones, paper ones, pictures of them, everything to do with them.

But during Halloween you can’t get away from them. Everywhere you look there are spiders scattered around. And for me that spoils Halloween. For most of the month I try to go nowhere (shops, clubs, pubs, supermarkets) just in case they have them on display.

And now we come back to Monday. As I said it was raining so i opened the staff entrance and started walking down the hall. But I was looking down as I was wrapping up my umbrella. So I was half way down the hall before I looked up and saw …

They decorated. For Halloween. All down the hall. Spiders. EVERYWHERE.

They were on the walls. Hanging from the ceiling. painted on banners. EVERYWHERE.

The five foot inflatable spider was almost the worse. The absolute worst part was I was surrounded. As I said I wasn’t looking when I entered so I was trapped. I run like hell for the stairs (I saw that they were clear) and sat there for a minute panicking. It was like a nightmare. Only it was worse than some of my nightmares. And I wasn’t asleep. Guess I’ll have some now.

In the end it took me another five minutes to build up the courage to run like hell down the hall back to the outside door. I had to enter the shop from the main shopping entrance. And I had to then get someone to go swipe my card to start my shift.

I spent the next hour and a half paranoid out of my mind. I was convinced spiders were everywhere. I only calmed down when I was out in the warehouse where I knew no one would have put any. Plus the huge delivery I had to start sorting out distracted me nicely.

Lucky at the end of the night I was able to go out the front door as well. Someone caught a shoplifter so they had left the door open for the police to come in. I just walked out and didn’t look back. I guess I should have got someone to swipe me out but that’s to late to do anything about now.

If I didnt’t have this week off I’d still not go in.

Taking My Patience

I was in work just minding my own business and swearing at the boys socks (I was sorting them out and it was a total mess. Like someone threw them all to the floor then hung them all back up) when a boy passed me.

I know what you’re thinking. A boy in the boys clothing aisle, what a shock. But what drew my attention was he was carrying something. It was a toy of some kind. I know as that’s the only thing that comes in those plastic sealed box things. Plus the colours on the packet meant it was made to be seen. And he was picking at the plastic edging.

He saw me, realised I worked there and stopped picking at the corner of the packet but kept on walking past me. Very deliberately. It was so obvious he didn’t want to be near me. And I could guess why. I waited a second for him to go out of sight and followed him.

Now this was not Professor Moriarty. His grand idea to loose me was to simply go around the corner and duck back into the next aisle. I saw him hunched over the box, I heard the plastic rip. I took a step back so he wouldn’t see me just yet. I heard the box being thrown under the display. I stepped out.

This is where I was stuck. Work doesn’t like it when you shout “Stop there you thieving little git” to ten tear old boys. In fact we can’t accuse people of stealing till they are out of the door. Otherwise people just make up excuses like I just forgot to pay for that or these shoes are mine I swear or something. So I was silent as I debated on if I should kick the little fucker to the ground, scream or just demand whatever it was back.

He just looked at me. I just looked at him. Each of us knowing what had just happened. I pretended to tidy. He slowly moved down the aisle as I went up the other way. We passed each other. I kept giving him dirty looks. I pretended not to know where the box was. As soon as he had his back to me I ducked down, snatched the box up from the floor (Turned out it was a mini skateboard. I think they are called finger skates or something. only about two inches or so long) and quickly followed him.

He had vanished. I went down to the front of the shop to speak with security. We scanned the shop with the cameras but couldn’t see him. But I have moved so fast the only way he could have got out was to run like hell across the shop. And I would have noticed that. But we just couldn’t see him. I gave his description and had to leave it there. Not that security was happy. Turns out on saturday thirty odd boxes of these mini finger skateboard things had been ripped open and had the little skateboards taken out. In the end they simply pulled them all off the shelf and took them back to the warehouse .

What I’m angry at is the total lack of shame this boy had of stealing right before my eyes. And I’m angry at myself for not going with my gut feeling and just shouting “Give that back and get out” at the boy. I think I would have stopped short of swearing at him.

Also angry he stole something as shit as a mini finger skateboard. If that’s what passes as a collectible these days then children all need to have corrective brain surgery. What a load of shit.


Yesterday when I was in Tesco wasting some more of my life in yet another queue for the checkout I saw Boz (I sometimes forget that’s not his real name) waiting in the queue just over from me. Then I realised he was with Lavinia and as usual they were all touching and flirting and smiling with each other.

Only it wasn’t our version of Boz and Lavinia it was their doubles. You know what I mean, those people who you have to look at twice to be sure it’s not someone you know. If I described them they would sound just the same. Short hair and beard, same build with a rock t-shirt. She had the black hair and glasses and both of them were about the right height.

I call it the Alter-verce, parallel world versions of people we know. I love seeing them. Some are so strange. I once had a double of Jen come in the shop and ask me about the coats we had on display. If it wasnt for the fact that the real Jen lived a hundred and something miles away I would have sworn it was her.

But with each alternate copy I start to wonder. What’s your life like? How are you different? Would we be friends as well as the originals? This version of B&L seemed quite nice. I’d certainly have jumped the guy (he was hot what can I say. Mind you I’d do original Boz as well. What, he’s hot to)

And then I think it. Where is my double? What sort of life does he have? Is he happy? Sad? Dead from an accident? How different could my life be if I chose a different path.

I hope one of them is a fetish based super hero. Just because it sounds fun. Oh wait, is that what I should be doing with my life?

Mother Knows Best

Well mine does. She told me days ago I should just order my copy of Lion for my mac online. I said no I’m going to go get it from the apple shop. Guess who had the better idea.

It was one disaster after another getting there and back. I couldn’t find a place to park, my train was late, I was behind crowds loitering around the streets, and lets not talk about the traffic coming home, it was a shocking trip out. And I only had a little time as I had, once again, left it to the last moment and had work that evening.

But I finally got to the stupid shop and looked for a copy of Lion. Couldn’t see one. I had to wait for someone to be free as apparently it was “Mac learner day” the place was filled with people asking questions and being shown how to use their stuff and getting tips and all sorts. I finally got someone free and asked about getting my OS upgrade.

He’s never sold one.

Because everyone upgraded last time they are all buying it online in the mac app store. In fact he didn’t even know if they had any in the shop.

I didn’t get one. While he was asking someone else about it they said it was better for me to buy a copy of Snow Leopard and then buy a copy of Lion online. Mainly as we worked out it was in fact cheaper to upgrade twice rather than buy the flash drive with it on once.

I’m not that upset by this. I always like having a copy of my OS somewhere as, some will already know this, I am the worst person to own a computer. I once wiped out vital files during a spring clean my an old (windows) pc. I’ve crashed systems more times than I can count. My current laptop has a split hard-drive (one normal the other a backup copy of windows to restore my system in case of accidents) for a reason. And with Snow Leopard I would have the app store and I can just download all my bought apps again. Including Lion. So it’s a good back up in case anything goes wrong.

And as you might have guessed they no longer sell Snow Leopard in the shop as it’s the old version.

I have now placed an order online for my copy of Snow Leopard so I can get the app store and upgrade to a copy Lion. My mother was quite pleased with herself when I told her all of this and said “I told you so”. I agree she did tell me so but she didn’t tell me I could save money buying a different copy and whatnot.

I should be playing with Lion Tuesday (according to the email I got, but who believes that stuff) and I can’t wait. I also might have ordered myself a magic trackpad thing. I never even used one but I thought what the hell let’s get it. It raised my order enough to get free delivery so that’s a good reason.

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